How to address picky eating in kids
Written by: Michelle Jaelin, Registered Dietitian
As a dietitian and mom, it’s not uncommon I receive comments from other parents like, “Your kids must eat all of their vegetables” and “They probably eat everything you serve to them.” Nope – those comments are untrue. My twins – like most other young children, have foods they love and foods they dislike. And I can understand the frustration parents must feel when trying to provide nourishing food for their little ones, because it’s something I deal with too. However, there is a reason for it all.
If you find that your once adventurous baby eater now seems to turn away from their favourite foods, you are not alone. This change in food preferences reflects biology, a slower growth rate that occurs after that first year of life. After about 18 months of age, they no longer need as many calories as they once did, and start to assert their independence, which often leads to toddlers being more selective of what they eat. And if you have older kids who are picky eaters, believe me when I say this: It is still normal! So as a parent who want to ensure their child eats more than just candy and French fries, what do you do? I have a few tips on how you can make family feeding more enjoyable and less stressful.
The fundamentals of feeding
Know your role: As a parent, You’re the “what, when, and where” and your child is the “if and how much.” Once you realize this, it takes the pressure off. As the adult, you provide a variety of foods at regular, predictable times and in a positive eating environment. A child’s role is to decide whether they eat and how much they will eat at each meal or snack.
Set the example: Be a positive role model by enjoying a wide variety of foods yourself and demonstrate that you enjoy them. Model good eating habits by eating together with family meals and remember, toddlers and children learn by watching their grown-ups.
Patience and persistence are key: Children typically need 10-20 exposures to a new food before accepting it, although as a dietitian, I say it can take more than this. Don’t give up after the first refusal, repeat exposure is key. Continue to offer the same food at mealtimes or snacks without any additional pressure.
Tips to address picky eating
Children need routine. Offer 3 meals and 2-3 snacks per day at regular, predictable times throughout the day. Avoid letting them fill up on juice, milk or graze on snacks to ensure they are hungry during your planned eating times.
Give them choices. Children often feel empowered when they are offered a choice. I will often offer my kids 2 healthy choices, i.e., “Would you like peas or carrots?” This helps them assert their independence by selecting what they get to eat.
Involve them in the process. This makes them more interested in eating the food you are serving. Get them to help with age-appropriate tasks such as washing produce, mixing ingredients or arranging food on a plate. Find more tips on getting kids in the kitchen here.
Offer safe foods. When serving a new food that is unfamiliar, I will often serve it with a food that I know they already like and accept. This makes the unfamiliar food seem less intimidating to try and increases enjoyment in the overall meal.
Make food fun and appealing. Serve colourful food (think: colours of fruits and vegetables), use fun cookie cutters for interesting shapes and serve foods that can be dipped. Check out this blog post for kid friendly meal ideas, and this one for kid approved creative lunch ideas.
Keep the eating experience enjoyable. By this I mean do not force, pressure or punish. Remember that family meals are about making connection as much as they are about nourishment. Phrases like “If you don’t finish your dinner, you don’t get dessert” make the eating experience stressful and can often backfire. Remember that as a parent, you are also helping your child to foster a positive relationship with food.
When picky eating becomes an issue
While most picky eating is a normal phase, there are signs that it might be a more serious issue. If you notice poor growth, being extremely selective about foods, distress and anxiety around mealtimes, sensory aversions or lack of energy that might indicate a nutrient deficiency – it may be time to consult with your pediatrician/family doctor, or a registered dietitian.
You are doing better than you think! It’s common for parents to feel guilty about food and feeding, trust me – I also experience parental guilt when it comes to food from time to time. Remember that like most things, picky eating is a phase that comes and goes. As long as you make meal times positives, offer repeat exposure of foods and are a positive role model – your kid is on the right track to becoming a good eater!
Michelle Jaelin (she/they) is a nutrition communicator and registered dietitian. Her favourite grain foods are pizza, chocolate peanut butter overnight oats and tofu stir fry on wheat noodles. She resides in Hamilton, ON with her spouse, twins and rescue dog. Find her online here:
Instagram @michellejaelin X @michellejaelin TikTok @michellejaelin Facebook @NutritionArtistRD YouTube: @michellejaelin Website: michellejaelin.com
